Category: General

Prelude to the Return – New Rules of Engagement

by blue midget

A few months ago, the regular halffull contributors reached an impasse.  Tension and differing opinions on the site had been mounting for a couple of months, and nasty things were said. 

That’s all over now.  We’re back, but there must be rules. 

1.  There will be no name calling.

2.  As Patrick Swayze says in Road House, “Be nice.”

3.  No hijacking.  In the internet world, if you take someone’s post and derail it to talk about your agenda, it’s called hijacking and it’s considered extremely rude.  Create a new post and talk about whatever is on your mind; don’t steal someone else’s thread.

4.  There is a misnomer that this site is for ranting and fighting and arguing and serious topics.  Not everyone is a ranter or someone who likes to argue.  A lot of it is meant to be humor or general expression. Please don’t read everyone’s posts with a chip on your shoulder.

5.  Everyone is welcome at halffull, except jackasses.

If you’re an old timer who left the site due to inactivity, welcome back to a kinder, gentler halffull… with a side of rant.

The Plug

by blue midget

Tigerblade — Penalty! Offsides on defense, 5 yards!

Here at Halffull, we don’t have a section for other websites that you can link to. Of course, any time I ask redshift to add something to the menu bar, it is met with a steely-eyed glare that says, “You want to make this site look particularly ugly, don’t you?” Of course I don’t but it’s up to our site Nazi to make sure this website looks as clean as possible, in the same way that it’s up to me to ask for eighty million changes. (Speaking of which, what happened to previewing a comment before posting? Huh?) But what can I say? Redshift is an internet-snob and wants to make us as un-blog-like as possible. Besides, most of my posts (especially the news updates) are filled with links anyway.

Due to the barrage of spam we usually get, it’s really hard for me to look through the logs and figure out if we’re being linked or not, since 95% of what is listed is pr0n spam. Either that, or redshift and hulk are lying to me when they say they haven’t been signing halffull up at wwwdotbig-boobs-cheerleaders-kinkymidget-pr0ndotcom. I think they’re lying. You see, I’m addicted to the site stats. I analyze them critically. I make excel charts and bring them to Halffull meetings. And when we dip below 250 visits a day, I freak out. For the past week, our viewings have dipped a bit. I’m not sure where everyone’s gone, but you’re freaking me out, dudes. Is it me? Do I smell? Maybe it’s hulk – I swear that we take him out back and hose him down once in a while. It helps keep the rabid foam around his mouth down to a minimum. Plus, it keeps him going with fresh rants. Never stale, that’s our motto.

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For Those About to Blog, We Salute You

by blue midget

If you checked into the site this weekend, you might have noticed redshift’s post about someone who copied and pasted an entire article from this site and copied it onto their weblog. A couple of hours after he posted it, we found a couple of other people who had also copied entire articles from this site and pasted it onto their weblogs as well.

So, to you who have cut and pasted entire articles onto your site, I have written you a song. Actually, in your honor I have plagiarized the song, but re-written the lyrics for you.

To the tune of “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” by Bobby McFerrin:

Here’s a little blog we wrote
Some noobs want to copy it note for note
Don’t worry… They’re crappy.
Their sites are ugly and have no style
I guess that’s why they copy our files
But don’t worry… They’re crappy.

Don’t worry. They’re crappy!
Don’t worry. They’re crappy!

Can’t think of anything original to say
Just cut and paste because you’re totally ghey
Don’t worry… Be crappy!
This should be corrected in all good time
You’ll learn not to plagiarize in Junior High
Don’t worry… Be crappy!

Don’t worry. They’re crappy!
Ooh! Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh…
Don’t worry.
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh…
They’re crappy.
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh…
Seriously, their sites have no good content!
Ooh! Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh…
So don’t worry.
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh…
Their sites are crappy.
Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh…

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What in the Hell is Wrong with Italians?

by blue midget

And we thought the EMP was ugly. I don’t even know where to begin, so I’m just going to point you here. Read that article now; you won’t be sorry that you did. Just in case you missed it the first time, read THIS ARTICLE.

Some Viennese “art group” (they’re calling it art) knitted the most awful pink bunny rabbit and will leave it on an Italian countryside for the next twenty years. TWENTY YEARS! First off, I must point out that it’s made completely of wool. I’m not sure what they’re going to do about rain. Then again, they wanted to knit up the largest and ugliest bunny rabbit ever and leave it on the Italian countryside, so we’re obviously not talking logic. My favorite part of the article is where one of the artist group members said, “It’s supposed to make you feel small, like Gulliver. You walk around it and you can’t help but smile.” I think that’s a mis-quote, and I’m sure what he said was, “laugh your ass off until you asphyxiate and die.”

Important Dates

by blue midget

Over the next couple of months there are some important things happening. Basically, it’s my chance to tell you what awesome books and games are being released, as well as some holidays and their history – for both U.S. and Canada (Annual Bathtub Races!). I don’t really have a beat on what’s happening for movies because they’re so expensive and so lame as of late that I haven’t really been paying attention. But if you know of any that needs mentioning, post below in the comments section with a date. Or if I missed anything else that you feel is particularly worth noting, comment below.

Wednesday, September 21
ABC’s Lost – That’s tomorrow people, so get on the ball! If you want to catch up, here is a site that gives you a general rundown for each episode. For more details and spoilers, click “Recap” under each episode listing. It’s definitely worth catching up on for tomorrow night.

Monday, September 26
Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves is released for PS2 – Great game for all ages, fun quests and puzzles, a whole lot of fun. Thumbs up for Sly and the gang. I have a friend who has played the last two with his six year old daughter, and confirms that they are age appropriate – for the both of them.

Tuesday, September 27
Family Guy: Stewie Griffin, the Untold Story DVD. Previously unseen material except by those who have been downloading it for free. He commands you to buy it.

Monday, October 3
Oktoberfest Ends — Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to drink as much beer as you possibly can until Oktoberfest ends. Do we have any readers who are beer connoisseurs? Post below with your recommendations and we’ll get it added here.

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Cheap Entertainment

by blue midget

For the first time in over a decade, I have returned to school. While I hold a full-time job, I am taking two classes at the local community college. Were it not for my company’s tuition reimbursement program, I would have had second thoughts about attending due to the expense. The last time I had attended a community college, a full load of credits cost around $450, which I was able to pay for by myself. Now, I am taking two classes (7 credits) and it has cost me $750 – and that’s not even counting books and supplies. Still, it’s a cheaper option than a four-year institution, although I was quite surprised at the cost.

The biggest surprise so far has been the amount of adults I have seen around the campus. Twice this week I have had to stop by the school in the middle of the day, and I was amazed at how many adult students were wandering the campus. My evening and weekend classes are also now quite mixed: I had expected the majority of students to be people aged 27 and up, but it’s actually divided down the middle. Many students are around my parents’ ages, so I must wonder if more adults are starting to return to school.

But I digress; let me tell you where I’m going with all this: I’ve spent a lot of money on school over the past two weeks, movies are way too expensive to pay for and I need a personal loan just to fill up my gas tank. It’s time to get creative with our entertainment as we have very little money to spend on it. Let’s talk cheap entertainment.

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United States Constitution Day

by blue midget

We the people of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this constitution for the United States of America.

And yes, I typed that from memory! Happy Constitution Day, everyone.

Alone in the Void

by blue midget

My email has been strangely silent lately. Come on people, send me an email and give me something to write about — and don’t ask me to write about Britney Spears’ white trash child. My guess is that she had a C-section because she’s contracted some sort of weird sexual cootie. Eeew… Federline Cooties.

Send in your questions, comments and suggestions: Blue Midget Email

Update from The Editing Room

by blue midget

The Editing Room has updated its website with the abridged script from The Dukes of Hazzard. Jessica Simpson fans will be crushed to hear that she has completely been removed from the script, but has been replaced by her tits. Enjoy.

What’s On?

by blue midget

More reader submissions. I love these. If you have a question, comment or just feel like shooting the breeze, send me an email at Ask Blue Midget. I won’t post your name or email address.

Hey Blue,

I was just curious, what’s on for dinner tonight? I suck at cooking, but get tired of fast food every night. Also don’t have a lot of money… Got any suggestions?

A Reader

Hey Reader,

Tonight, teriyaki chicken rice bowls with stir fry are what’s on. If you suck at cooking and don’t have a lot of money, this would be a good one to try. (I know it sounds scary, but I’ll walk you through it.) The really frustrating thing that I find about cooking is that it can take a lot of time and effort, and if you work full time, the last thing you want to do is spend the next three hours in the kitchen cooking. When I get home, I’m tired and hungry, and I just don’t have the energy to whip up a gourmet meal. This is another one that I got from recipezaar, but the original recipe has you cooking for three hours. And I don’t know about you, but when I get home from work, I want food NOW and not in three hours.

This one takes about an hour, but total time to prepare is only around 20 minutes. Most of the time is spent just waiting for the stuff to cook. This is also rather inexpensive, and terrific for lunches the next day. I estimate that you could get three meals from this (or two huge meals), and it costs about $8.00 to make, not counting spices. If you’re a vegetarian, I imagine you could just substitute the chicken with portobello mushrooms or skip that part completely and just whip up the sauce with some rice and stir fry veggies.

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