My Wife Knows Computers

by redshift

When I need a new computer, I rely on my wife. She’s the expert.

wife: what about from Falcon?
wife: I’m totally going to check their site and price out a spectacular computer for you
wife: you’ll be totally amazed at my computer prowess

wife: MACH 5!
wife: the best of the best
wife: and it involves silicon
wife: which is like big boobies
wife: so obviously this is the one you want to get
wife: and I’m going to configure it for you as well

wife: I clicked on the “Bragging Rights” computer
wife: which costs slightly less than your car did.
wife: ok how about the middle one?
wife: it’s like $5k
wife: that’s chump change!
wife: for donald trump.

wife: i selected the chassis with teh FLAMES
wife: what’s a computer chassis?
wife: I don’t know
wife: but this one has FLAMES

wife: and I selected a FREE TSHIRT
wife: you can order a usb flash drive with it too
wife: comes with the package
wife: because raptor sounds badass
wife: I don’t know why in the hell you don’t let me order the computer shit.
wife: I totally know what to do.

wife: I also ordered you 5 raids
wife: because you love raiding and not leveling.
wife: in all of your games
me: only 5 games.
me: in the 6th game I’ll have to level
wife: oh shit
wife: but they don’t have a selection for 6 raids
wife: so you will have to give up your slot to a noob.

me: what else did you get me?
wife: I got an nVidia nForce 680I – SLI
wife: because Crossfire is bad
wife: you don’t want to get caught in that.
wife: the creative labs X-Fi Fata1ity
wife: because Fata1ty is the name of that Halo dude who quit school at an early age and will end up stupid and without a girlfriend in 10 years
wife: but he’s leet right now
wife: so that must mean you would be a leet gamer if you had that
wife: like Fata1ty
wife: the halo dood.

me: I can’t wait to own my masterpiece!
wife: oh also
wife: you are getting a silverstone 850watt Zeuss
wife: Zeus!
wife: anything less is wimpy and doesn’t sleep around nearly as much.

wife: also, you will be getting the 4GB corsair dominator DOMINATO
wife: just so you can say you have dominato.
wife: it sounds foreign.
wife: and cool.
wife: I would have totally pimped out your computer if you had let me order it.