My Wife Knows Computers


When I need a new computer, I rely on my wife. She’s the expert.

wife: what about from Falcon?
wife: I’m totally going to check their site and price out a spectacular computer for you
wife: you’ll be totally amazed at my computer prowess

wife: MACH 5!
wife: the best of the best
wife: and it involves silicon
wife: which is like big boobies
wife: so obviously this is the one you want to get
wife: and I’m going to configure it for you as well

wife: I clicked on the “Bragging Rights” computer
wife: which costs slightly less than your car did.
wife: ok how about the middle one?
wife: it’s like $5k
wife: that’s chump change!
wife: for donald trump.

wife: i selected the chassis with teh FLAMES
wife: what’s a computer chassis?
wife: I don’t know
wife: but this one has FLAMES

wife: and I selected a FREE TSHIRT
wife: you can order a usb flash drive with it too
wife: comes with the package
wife: because raptor sounds badass
wife: I don’t know why in the hell you don’t let me order the computer shit.
wife: I totally know what to do.

wife: I also ordered you 5 raids
wife: because you love raiding and not leveling.
wife: in all of your games
me: only 5 games.
me: in the 6th game I’ll have to level
wife: oh shit
wife: but they don’t have a selection for 6 raids
wife: so you will have to give up your slot to a noob.

me: what else did you get me?
wife: I got an nVidia nForce 680I – SLI
wife: because Crossfire is bad
wife: you don’t want to get caught in that.
wife: the creative labs X-Fi Fata1ity
wife: because Fata1ty is the name of that Halo dude who quit school at an early age and will end up stupid and without a girlfriend in 10 years
wife: but he’s leet right now
wife: so that must mean you would be a leet gamer if you had that
wife: like Fata1ty
wife: the halo dood.

me: I can’t wait to own my masterpiece!
wife: oh also
wife: you are getting a silverstone 850watt Zeuss
wife: Zeus!
wife: anything less is wimpy and doesn’t sleep around nearly as much.

wife: also, you will be getting the 4GB corsair dominator DOMINATO
wife: just so you can say you have dominato.
wife: it sounds foreign.
wife: and cool.
wife: I would have totally pimped out your computer if you had let me order it.


3 responses to “My Wife Knows Computers”

  1. EvilIggy Avatar

    I’m going to ask your wife to order my next computer, because she has this shit figured out.


  2. Tigerblade Avatar

    Your wife, you say? So she’s already taken… damn.


  3. Blue Midget Avatar

    Yeah, I’m so awesome at computers that I somehow fooked up the font on this site, simply by adding a new aside…


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