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Goat Genital Painter Charged

by blue midget

A man who was caught spray painting three goats’ genitals orange has been charged…  uh…

My Wife Knows Computers

by redshift

When I need a new computer, I rely on my wife. She’s the expert.

wife: what about from Falcon?
wife: I’m totally going to check their site and price out a spectacular computer for you
wife: you’ll be totally amazed at my computer prowess

wife: MACH 5!
wife: the best of the best
wife: and it involves silicon
wife: which is like big boobies
wife: so obviously this is the one you want to get
wife: and I’m going to configure it for you as well

wife: I clicked on the “Bragging Rights” computer
wife: which costs slightly less than your car did.
wife: ok how about the middle one?
wife: it’s like $5k
wife: that’s chump change!
wife: for donald trump.

wife: i selected the chassis with teh FLAMES
wife: what’s a computer chassis?
wife: I don’t know
wife: but this one has FLAMES

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Math Dunces!

by blue midget

England’s Math Dunces Baffled by Christmas Sale Offers!  “About 14.9 million adults in England do not have the maths skills expected of an 11-year old and may have problems working out even basic deals like “20 percent off” or “buy one, get the second half-price”, the Department of Education and Skills said.”  WTF!