I’d like to take this opportunity to present to you, dear reader, a delightful little game that has caused a huge lack of boredom in our area.

I give you 1000 Blank White Cards, courtesy of the Discordians. Here are the rules:

Make your own game.

The idea is that you start with a stack of blank, white cards (index cards work great) and draw up your own game cards. Aside from the basic (and loose) guideline of a title, picture, and effect, you can turn them into anything. There are some basic rules for turns, winning, etc. but the fun comes from making wacky cards.

For example, here are some of the cards we’ve created so far. I really wish you could see the pictures, but I stomped on the only scanner I ever loved…

• Suffrage for Ice Weasels: you trade places with the person to your right, switching all effects played so far. Causes no end of havoc.

• Rock Lobster: “Rock Lobster fucking crushes any two cards you pick.”

• Cliffhanger: “Drop this card on the play area with your eyes closed. Any cards it touches are removed from play.”

• Bad Japanese Translation: “Translate any card on the table (your choice) into Japanese on Babelfish, then back to English, and do whatever it says.”

• Seppuku: “Thanks to stupid Japanese concepts of honor, you get shamed for five (5) rounds. Hang your head and don’t make eye contact.” (this one sucked.)

• Elvish Porn: +e^12 Trojan points, -cos(sec(pi/2)) stamina

• Kevin Federline: “You can call me Daddy instead! Straight 2008!” “+500 Dumb. +10,000 Fat, Ugly Britney Spears’ Money. +20,000 Thinking You’re Black.”

• The Pope: “All religious cards worth double. All underage male players -500 points”

• Cheeburger: “Do not eat or drink for the rest of the game. Alternatively, eat a sizeable part of this card. +omg tasty points” (The best time to play this is right after someone makes hot chocolate.)

• Star Wars Prequels: “Padme, you’re beautifulist beauty ever to be beautified.” “Oh Anakin, you’re so suave.” “I’m going to force choke you later, ok?”

• Ru Paul: “Reverse the turn order – if the players are going in clockwise order, reverse to counter-clockwise & vise-versa. +500 work +100 catwalk”

• Ghandi’s Stomach: “Fuck.”

• Bastard Child: “You hand this card to another player and they lose their next turn. The player holds on to this card and gives it to another bastard later.”

…and, of course…

• Liberalism: “Points are mean and make others feel inadequate! Shame on Republicans!”