This Week’s News Report Brought to You By Sarcasm

by blue midget

Although there was not a great deal of participation, last week’s News Haikus turned out to be surprisingly popular. We’ll bring it back again soon and make it a monthly occurrence. Until then, if you spot anything newsworthy that you’d like to contribute to the next haiku news report, write something up and save it. You have about three or four weeks to come up with a little something. Until then, here’s your regular news report.

French President Jacques Chirac decided to stop being a useless tool when, after eleven nights of violent rioting, he finally decided to say something about it. I guess the first ten days of violence and burning are okay, but once you reach that eleventh day, you’ve gone way too far. Reports claim the rioting has spread to 300 towns across France and into Belgium and Germany. Last night a man was beaten to death by a rioter, becoming the first reported death since the violent outbreak. President Chirac is facing extreme criticism for his inability to handle the rioting – why this is such a surprise is anyone’s guess. Reportedly, Chirac has two different plans proposed on how to face the crisis: A) Call in US and UK forces to handle the situation and afterwards harshly criticize them before the UN for occupying France, or B) Surrender. No word yet on what the decision will be.

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