Romancing the Commander

by blue midget

I love a good conspiracy theory. Add that to my penchant for cynicism, and you’ll know exactly what I was thinking last night when I sat down to watch the premiere of “Commander in Chief” with Geena Davis: The secret powers that be are warming up the population for a female president. Yeah I know it probably sounds ridiculous, but I wouldn’t it past them – whoever they are. I’m not sure who “them” is; some secret person or persons who really make all the decisions. Perhaps it’s the Illuminati or Xenu, maybe even Colonel Sanders before he went tits up. I’m not really sure whom exactly, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find that someone government related was sponsoring this television program to ready the nation for a female president. I don’t think it will be Hillary or Condi, as the press is frothing at the mouth with, but I do find it highly likely that a female candidate will run when the next couple of generations are old enough to vote. This television show is a strong first step in readying the mindset of the next few waves of voters, and everyone, everywhere, seems to be speaking their mind about the romanticism of a female president.

The show opens in France with a group of children singing the U.S. National Anthem. Vice President Geena Davis sits front row, watching, when she is called out of the small, intimate theater and given news that the President has had a stroke and will be unable to remain in office. She is then told that it is the President’s wish for her to resign so the slimy, corrupt Speaker of the House (played by everyone’s favorite weirdo, Donald Sutherland) can become President instead. Immediately, Geena Davis jumps on Air Force Two, repositions the Naval Fleet and schedules an address to the nation before the stock market opens. During this time they paint her character as incredibly intelligent, patriotic, ballsy (I like that a lot) and yet compassionate. And then comes the unsurprising story: The only reason Davis’ character was asked to run for VP was because the President only had 40% of the female vote. The President himself, lying in the hospital bed, asks Davis to resign and allow Donald Sutherland to take office, saying he will not resign until she does. She agrees.

Then, for a few minutes, it became a bit stupid: Her closest staff members longingly ponder the romanticism of a female president, only for the sake of having a female president, and not because Davis’ character would make a great one. Then the President dies before Davis resigns, and she has a stand-off with Donald Sutherland, who stabs Geena Davis with all of the likely phrases feminist groups would stone anyone for. Davis, emotionally incensed by Sutherland’s anti-feminist statements, stomps out of the room and takes the oath of office, becoming the first female president. So in essence, Davis’ character, a strong female leader who is out to prove to the audience that a woman can be a strong, decisive character who does not let emotion interfere with her leadership abilities, sets out to defy Sutherland’s anti-feminist sentiments by getting her emotions in the way and becoming President because he pissed her off. Eh?

But whatever, I have to admit that I am a bit of a fan. It’s smarmy and patriotic, campy yet smart. And it is doing its part in prepping the nation for the next female president. Hillary Clinton? Condi said knock you out.