Vanilla Ice Killed My Computer

by blue midget

The other night I was playing one of my WoW noobs when my computer completely froze up on me. I shut it off, waited a few seconds, and then started it up again. Unfortunately, my little magic computer gnomes decided to go AWOL. From somewhere inside my computer they said to me, “click click click click click,” at which point redshift’s head SNAPPED in the direction of my computer, then he sucked in his breath and stared up at the ceiling. After a few seconds he gave me the “put your hands in the air and step away from the computer” motion. My computer has not worked since.

Whatever happened was not my fault. Up until that point I had been playing my WoW noob, and for some reason I said something to redshift about Vanilla Ice. (I don’t remember what it was now) and he thought it would be funny to cue up the “Havin A Roni” song. If you haven’t heard this song, don’t run out and listen to it. I’ll just sum it up for you. Over and over, the Vanilla Ice repeats “What it’s like, havin a roni.” That’s the whole song, just that line. And who knows what the hell a roni is? Naturally, I take this matter to my guild. The conversation is short, and goes something like this:

Me: (redshift) is playing that Vanilla Ice song, “Havin a Roni.” WTH is a roni?!
Grimvalt: Rice-a-Roni?
Caulbraen: Maybe it’s a penis since he doesn’t have one
Grimvalt: Is it really the San Francisco treat?

And then my computer lost its will to live. Much like Padme in Star Wars: Episode III, except that my computer’s reasoning is much more substantial. On the other hand, I think I may have discovered why my guild’s new membership is down and thousands of people are flocking to the Dark Iron server to join the guys of PvP Online and Penny Arcade instead.

For those of you who haven’t heard because you either don’t play games or don’t read comic sites or possibly live in the proverbial cave, PvP Online and Penny Arcade have started opposing guilds on the Dark Iron server, where buttloads of people are flocking to join. And when I say “buttloads,” I mean BUTTLOADS. Apparently there are so many people on this server that there is an hour wait just to log in. And yet, the flood of people hasn’t stopped: A third comic site, Ctrl+Alt+Del, has hopped on the bandwagon and started their own guild on the same server, horde side, to hang out with PvP Online.

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