I Find Your Lack of Pants Disturbing

If you haven’t heard it on the news or seen anyone wandering around without pants, today is National Underwear Day. Arise, pantless masses! Come forth in your boxers, your tightie whities or your thongs!

It makes me yearn for the days of Underoos! Everyone I knew had a different kind and they were cool because you could wear the characters you liked most. It’s crazy how much has changed in thirty years. Back then we wore Darth Vader and Superman. (I personally had Princess Leia underoos and they were better than Wonder Woman underoos any day.) Today kids are wearing tshirts that say “Porn Star,” which is crazy as hell. What is wrong with people nowadays?

Today’s Kings and Queens are:
Homer Simpson
All Victoria Secret Models
Pro Wrestlers

I can’t think of any other notable pantless persons. If you can, add them below in the comments section.

Should you choose to be one of the pantless masses in the honor of this day but didn’t read my article from last week, we encourage you to wear something without skidmarks.

Go forth, Kings and Queens of No Pants, and rule the day!!


One response to “I Find Your Lack of Pants Disturbing”

  1. Ahnold Avatar

    You forgot “commando”.


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