Coke v. Pepsi

by hulk

Izzat inspired this one. “…Coke v. Pepsi…what happened to the middle ground?” That’s an excellent point. What did happen to the middle ground? RC Cola? Where did you go? Other than that, we’re left with store brands of cola, or sketchy brands of cola, like Bob’s Mexican Pop. Made with the freshest Mexican tapwater.

And what about Crystal Pepsi? They were talking about it on VH1’s I Love The 90s the other night, and they actually had unopened Crystal Pepsis…and were drinking them to mock them! I was horrified, because I was salivating. Give that to us, the ones who wanted it! I LOVED Crystal Pepsi! I didn’t care that the lack of color was unholy, it actually tasted so much better!

But no, now we have normal coke and pepsi and now C2 and Pepsi Edge. Why do we need low-carb soda? Have we not woken up from the fad yet? I mean what was wrong with diet soda? Is Sweet and Low a carb? Anyway, the ultimate question is Coke V. Pepsi. And I gotta say that cola is like wine.

Not that you should age it. That leads to bad things, like flat soda. No no, I mean you should always keep it cool when in storage, and that your tastes should change depending on the meal. With a heavier meal, you need the regular stuff from both. With a light meal, diet soda goes quite nicely, though I must say Diet Pepsi is kinda nasty. However, regular Pepsi clearly trumps Coke as an appetif. The higher sugar content helps you eat more, because it makes your blood sugar go nuts and kick your metabolism up. Or something. SCIENCE!

Coke, while it works for some meals, loses out to Pepsi when confronted with, say, a big steak, or lots of fried things. Coke goes better with a cheeseburger, while Pepsi goes with ribs. See what I’m saying? Diet Coke goes with a salad, or a light sandwhich. Diet Pepsi goes with nothing.

And low-carb soda is forbidden. I think all Atkins followers should be forced to drink Bob’s Mexican Pop.