The Airline officially hates you, or: Smallest Sandwich Ever

by hulk

See, I used to think that airlines were just incompetent, and that’s probably what they were. You’d get a shitty meal, a tiny, cramped seat, some screaming baby, and some fat sweaty guy sitting next to you invading your personal space like a frenchman. Those, sadly, were the good old days. Then 9/11 happened, and the airlines were given carte blanche to do whatever they wanted. Not to mention that you now had to go through a security screening process that involved removing all sorts of clothing items that you never thought had metal in them (apparently sneakers need to be taken off too), because if you set off the hypersensitive metal detector, the terrorists win. And you’re just as good as gone if you happen to have any sort of pocketknife or corkscrew or anything on your keychain. I’m thinking it’s only a matter of time before keys become illegal to bring on the plane. Meanwhile you know the stupid fucking inspector person gets a cheap thrill out of knowing he has just enough power over you to make you remove your belt and shoes and everything in your pockets and look like a fucking idiot. I noticed something interesting though. They no longer check for drugs. They used to, running this drug thing over your bags and having a dog nearby or something, but now they’re more worried you might have a belt on or that you might speak the word “bomb” while discussing the news. I realized that I totally could have walked right through security with several kilos of cocaine stuffed throughout my person, because that sure doesn’t set off the metal detector… I think. Read the rest of this entry »