RIAA, Or: “No mister, I never downloaded no files, honest!”

by hulk

*Ha!* Thank you US District Court of DC for overturning that horrible ruling in California. Now the RIAA can no longer subpeona ISP’s for people’s names. The RIAA said it was a shame because they can no longer offer people settlements beforehand and will have to sue people, which they were really hoping to avoid. The way it’ll work now is if your ISP sucks and hates you, they’ll give your name and address to the RIAA and they’ll sue your butt off. A: Few to No ISP’s would have such horrible customer service that they would willingly give your information to a private entity, heck, most of them get pissed about giving it the gov’t. B: If the RIAA gets ahold of your name, there is nothing preventing them from offering you a settlement just as before. C: Let’s see them try to get $140,000, their threatened maximum amount for a single song, for “I’m too sexy for my shirt” in court. Or “Sister Christian”. Or “Can’t touch this”. I want front row seats and a bag of popcorn for that trial.

The fact is the RIAA broke the social contract and everyone is shocked by it. The social contract is that if everyone’s doing it, it’s not wrong. If everyone on a plane just decided to kill a guy, then they’d all be guilty but no one would be charged (yes, it happened; no, not two years ago). If everyone loots in LA the gov’t doesnt go door to door arresting people for participation in the looting. If 90% of the younger generation (the one that actually knows how to use a computer) in this country download music for free, you don’t single anybody out and sue them. Sure, you work on a way of denying them the ability to download, which is fine. That’s within your rights of protecting your livelihood. But suing the thieves themselves? For shame, RIAA. No, I’m not gonna weep for Hanson’s lost wages, because you broke the social contract – out of frustration with your impotence in stopping Kazaa, and your greed.

That being said, I never downloaded any music and never would, and have broken all of my friends’ burned CDs and instructed them to pray for their sins. Please don’t sue me.