Ahnold sends troops to Mexican Border

by hulk

“Attention puh-nee citizens of Cahlifonia. I have finished meeting with President Bush and I have some fresh ideas for this state. I removed my broom of juhstice from its place about my mahntel this morning and swept Governor Dahvis out of office, because he is tahking too long to leave. I then phroclaimed myself Governoh of this great state. As my first ahct, inspired by my meehting with President Bush, I have assembled the national guard of Cahlifornia on the mexican border for an invasion. I beleive we have a moral impehrative to clean Mexico up, what with all the steahling and the drugs and the monies from the selling of the drugs, and the fact that evehy time I go there foh a Tequilah my damn Hummer gets stohlen. Therefore we will sweep mexico until there is justice. Now, there is this puny man with a puny mustache claiming that I cannot do this, some man named Vincente Fox. I asked him, ‘Why do you add that silly e to the end of your first nahme?’, but he could not reply because of the jahstice of my broom. He was then killed by his own generahls who have divided mexico up in regions accohding to the drugs that are processed there. I have ahmed the national guard with brooms of justice made from the giant redwoods to sweep mexico, and I stand ready to send the troops in. Now all I need to do is end this silly trahnsit strike so I can bus the troops ovah the bohder. I must go beat up some union membahs with my huge ahms and my broom of jahstice. Excuse me. Ah’ll Be Back.”