Golf is a Weird Sport, Or: I prefer Women’s Tennis

by hulk

Ok, so it’s been a while because it took me a week to get the internet hooked up in my new apartment. But there’s something that struck me in the news this week. Golf. Golf is perhaps the dumbest, most pointless game I’ve ever seen. It’s worse than baseball.

In Baseball, a bunch of guys whack balls with a bat and run around a big diamond. Whoop dee doo. I’d say Basketball and Football are the only real sports, in which you have to run, sweat, and work your ass off. If you wanna argue with me on baseball you can stuff it. And don’t even mention soccer. I’m an American, and in America prancing around in shorts in the meadow doesn’t pass for a sport. Anyway, back to golf. In golf, you hit some stupid little ball towards some stupid little hole and it takes forever and everything has a corporate sponsor and its boring and pointless and replaces good television like reruns of star trek on a saturday afternoon. Not like I watch star trek. Shutup.

The thing that struck me this week though, is Annika Sorenstam. When I first heard this story, I thought to myself, wow, she can play tennis and golf? Then I realized that I was thinking of Anna Kournikova. Simple mistake. The reason Annika made the news this week was that she was playing in the PGA tour, I believe. If I’ve got the specific event wrong I don’t really care, it’s all pointless. Suffice to say she made the news for playing golf in a men’s game. This was newsworthy. Many shows were discussing the question, should she be allowed to play? I found this shocking. Not that this woman was playing golf. But the fact that it was even a question.

I guess my problem is that I thought we were living in an enlightened society. I thought this was the year 2003. I thought this was America. But apparently I’m either in some desert middle eastern country or this is the year 1890, because it’s an issue apparently as to whether Annika belongs in golf. Then on Hannity and Colmes on Fox News, my favorite channel, Sean Hannity was asking the director of the LPGA (women’s golf) why men were not allowed in her tour, and why this was wrong. I beleive he was right on this regard, and that it would be a strong statement if the women’s golf league said, men are allowed in our club, so fuck you, you reclusive men’s only fucks. Problem was I felt like Hannity was ignoring the real issue. The issue isn’t whether women will let men play golf, it’s vice versa. Anything else is semantics, because the real trend of the world is women and minorities trying to break in while white men keep them out (I’d like to point out, A: I’m spotted, and B: most white men in power in this country are protestants, and they suck. I’m proud to say I’m an Irish Catholic, and historically we’ve always been too drunk to oppress anyone). Not too long ago there was a controversy over one of the golf clubs not permitting women to play. The controversy died down, but the club still doesn’t allow women. And it’s an issue whether or not women should be playing in men’s leagues. Is it an issue that Tiger Woods plays in a white man’s league? No, of course not, that’d be blatant racism. So what’s the deal here? Is sexism more forgiveable than racism? Is golf a game only men can play? I just think it’s sad, that this is a problem. I guess I have the privelege of being raised in a time when traditional societal structure is breaking down to allow equality regardless of sex or race.

Have we learned nothing from “Unnecessary Roughness”, the movie in which Kathy Ireland played a goalkicker who helped win the game? Yes, there are genetic differences between women and men. But look at the skinny punks who play golf. Obviously women are able to play the sport. And maybe many places will take their money and say, go right ahead. The problem is that you know the men in the club look at these women, look at Annika and say, “What does she think she’s doing?” And that’s why we have a long way to go in this country.