I can’t believe it! It finally happened! Scientists have finally shown that cigarettes cause cancer!
What the hell? Why was time wasted proving this instead of.. oh, I don’t know.. curing cancer?
If you consider this, and the October 4th settlement that awarded $28 billion to a former smoker, such a ridiculous amount that it seems far too early in time to give…
$28 Billion! Hello 2070
Cancer! Hello 1970
According to my calculations, that means we’re moving back in time by just over a full day every minute.
If you’re 25, you’ll be unborn in… 24 minutes. Start smoking!