The Widgit Communist Farmer’s League reported today that there will be an Ooble shortage in local markets this season, and that the farmers expect 40% reduced profits this quarter.
Farmers blamed the loss on several factors. First of all, Mayor Chewobble has taxed them “too heavily”, and reportedly called them a bunch of kulaks, who “put their lives and the lives of their children before the economic success of the party.” In response, Mayor Chewobble has decided to exile half of the farming population to Woodget (that utter hellhole of a town) . When asked how we would solve the farming problem by getting rid of farmers, Mayor Chewobble exiled some reporters to Woodget. No one else asked any questions.
The farmers also blamed their losses on Martha Stewart, who apparently “waved her black magic over our small farms” and then sold stock. It is also interesting to note that Mr. Beeboozle sold just as much stock as Martha Stewart at the same time but no one pointed a finger at him. The Communist Farmers League responded that it is in no way “sexist”.
Finally, the farmers said that a rising population of blowpops in the fields have been harmful to the oobles, as blowpops are terrifying weeds that suck up all the water in the area.
One thing is for sure, not many households will be having ooble pie this Thanksgiving.