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And now, for the continuation of part one of the mother of all Wii game reviews…

8. Super Monkey Ball: Banana Blitz: 1/5

This is another easy place to start, because Super Monkey Ball is terrible. For your own sanity and wallet, do not even rent this game.

Super Monkey Ball has two game modes. The first is classic Monkey Ball, where you roll your crazy little monkey down a Marble Madness-esque course encased in a balloon. The only challenge is in trying to master the frustrating controls. Level design is boring, frustrating, or both.

They didn’t even make the Wii remote enjoyable to use in such an obvious avenue for motion sensitivity. The controls were fairly responsive, to the point of oversensitivity, but were not customizable. You have to hold the remote pointing toward the television, as opposed to sideways like an NES controller, which would make much more sense to me. It became uncomfortable after only two levels. On top of the discomfort, your wrist is just not designed to make quick movements in the manner they intend, which could even lead to RSI.

So, let’s ignore the first game mode. The second is even worse. Sad, really. It’s a collection of 50 minigames a la Wii Sports or Wii Play, though shorter, not replayable, and less fun in general. In fact, most of the games don’t even behave as the (briefly shown, opaque) instructions claim. Several don’t work at all. I can only remember two or three of the 50 minigames. My only guess is that the “monkey ball” portion was in development when an executive saw the success of minigame-style Wii titles and insisted on their inclusion. The result is truly painful.

9. Super Smash Bros. Brawl: 4.5/5

Great little fighter. I don’t think Brawl is as expansive as most other reviews say, but there is a lot of content. The main fighting mode is great. There are at least 40 characters and 50 levels, and with the level editor you can make interesting new ones. If you’re new to Super Smash Bros., you might be surprised to find that fights aren’t just melee combat. Levels come alive and present various obstacles throughout the fight. They’re also much larger than in most fighting games and present multiple areas and tiers for variety. Many aspects of the rules of combat can be adjusted to your liking. Some are serious, some for fun, like wearing a flower on your head or breathing fiery curry breath.

On top of standard combat, one of my favorite challenges is the Event mode. There are different events for single player and multiplayer, and there’s a good amount of variety in the goals. One mode involves killing 50 enemies in one loop around the course. Another involves beating all of the original Smash Bros. characters in one round. Another involves beating colored koopa troopas in a certain order. They’re challenging and they offer difficulty levels and trophies to keep you coming back.

There is a single player mode, called Subspace Emissary, but it feels… odd. It’s reminiscent of an old-school platformer with new graphics. Honestly, this is my only complaint about the game, and it’s why I can’t give a perfect 5/5 score. There just isn’t enough unique about this mode to keep my interest. It has its moments - I particularly like the Donkey Kong levels - but there are just as many annoying moments. You can’t pick your characters for a large portion of the mode, and you often get stuck with Pit. Since Pit is a new addition to Brawl, I can understand the reason for this, but he’s also not as polished as the returning characters and tends to annoy.

There are a few other mini-modes, like a coin-shooting game and sticker collection, but they’re not really worth discussing. Feel free to ignore them and enjoy the Brawl and Event modes, which really are classic. Recommended for almost anyone, though I’d strongly advise you play with a friend or three.

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We at Halffull don’t take the easy route. It would be too simple to write ordinary reviews. Let’s up the ante.

How about fourteen Wii game reviews?!

1. Super Mario Galaxy: 5/5

This is an easy place to start because the game is delightful. It’s a true spiritual successor to Super Mario 64 and is every bit as fun to play.

The addictive elements are there - quick gameplay, content that’s always fresh, beautiful graphics, and intuitive controls. You can play for 10 minutes and feel a sense of accomplishment by getting a star, or you can play for hours and complete whole worlds.

The controls are intuitive, even in a vast 3d setting, and the levels are forgiving if you misstep. Motion controls are used just enough not to be cumbersome. You point at the screen with the remote to shoot projectiles, and shake the remote to spin Mario like a top, which is now one of the main gameplay mechanics.

The game design is classic Miyamoto. You never repeat the same puzzle twice. Each level feels like a new adventure. Visually, you can see the trend towards a younger audience that started way back with the Yoshi games on SNES , but it’s almost endearing. Plus, if you really don’t like the children’s stories, they’re entirely optional. You still get a great game. Highly recommended if you’ve ever liked a Mario title.

2. Warioware: Smooth Moves: 4/5

Reviews of Warioware have been polarized. Metacritic shows generally favorable reviews, but scores range from 56 to 100 and user reviews average 6.5. I assume this is because of the nature of the game - a sort of extreme version of the minigame trend we see with many Wii games.

Personally, I like minigames, whether standalone or baked into full games. They give you an opportunity to try different things at a rapid pace. Warioware takes this to the extreme with just about the shortest games imaginable - 3 to 5 seconds on average. It gives you just enough time to get a sense of what’s going on, then you immediately have to solve the puzzle by moving the remote in whatever seems like the correct way. There are so many microgames that they built a full game on 3-5 second experiences. Sure, it won’t last you as long as Super Mario Galaxy, but it’s the type of game you can return to many times because you definitely won’t remember all of the challenges.

The games are based on a set of controller styles, such as “The Elephant,” which involves you holding the remote straight out from your nose like a trunk, or “The Waiter,” where you balance the remote flat on the palm of your hand. You have to change styles very quickly between microgames , particularly near the end of the game where you’re only given a second or two to change posture. This keeps the energy high and keeps the strange looks coming.

The game was challenging enough to stay interesting for the 3-4 hours it took to beat. (This does not include any time going back and replaying the games.) For the most part, the controls worked as expected, though there were one or two games (out of around 100) that I couldn’t figure out. Recommended if you like minigames and have a sense of humor.

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Hello everybody. I haven’t said anything for some time, but I plan on changing that. I have so much to be upset about - but that’s not all. I have decided to focus every other post on something positive. I am quite sure venom will pour from my fingertips fairly soon, but tonight, let’s think happy thoughts.

Not too many of you know me, so allow me to introduce myself. My name is Jay. I am a college student finishing my degree in video production. Because of my interests in A) Intellectual Discussion and B) my passion for film as an art form, I will try to post regular film critiques and reviews. I expect and encourage all possible responses as long as they remain civil. I guess this will be my attempt to balance and offset the vile treachery that will clog up this website from yours truly sooner than later.

Now, on to my first agenda… I need your votes!

This past weekend myself and a handful of colleagues participated in Apple’s Insomnia Film Contest. For those not familiar with the contest, each team has 24 (and only 24) hours to shoot, edit, score, compress, and upload their 3 minute film to the Apple website before the deadline. In order to ensure the films are shot in one day, certain requirements need to be met in the film that are posted at the beginning of the contest.

Our film was completed with 2 hours to spare. It was an intense, grueling day, but was ultimately rewarding as we watched our final edit. Please take the time to create an Apple login account (if you don’t already have one) and vote for our film entitled “Selective Focus”. I know I would appreciate it immensely. Just go to the Apple Insomnia page and search for our film by title.

The video is on Youtube to help build hype, but it isn’t working as well as our street team!

So stay tuned for some illogical rants and discussions about film.

Thanks and take care.

WB

Michael Oxley is now saying that the Sarbanes-Oxley legislation was a mistake, and that Paul Sarbanes agrees. I could have told you this years ago. Oh wait, I did tell you this years ago.

The basic idea of the story is that Sarbanes-Oxley legislation imposes a crushing financial burden on all publicly-owned companies. Which is true. I was one of the thousands of people employed to deal with it. (Not that I’m complaining.)

SOX legislation, specifically section 404, says that corporate reporting needs to be validated by internal and external auditors. This is good in many ways, and I’ve personally seen a lot of good practices instituted, but you have to remember something. Auditing is just another business. The auditors are there to make money. They’re going to turn your company upside-down to find tiny problems that aren’t really against the spirit of honest capitalism. That’s why it’s a crushing financial burden.

I said it then, and I’ll say it again now - there’s no need to overhaul corporations on account of a few bad eggs. It’s really about common sense. You don’t make up financial numbers, and you don’t lie to the public. Is that really so hard?

It seems I’ve been commanded to write five things about myself that you may not have known.

1. I have the shaving habits and bone/joint composition of an old man. This arises from my love of wetshaving and cracking my knuckles, the latter of which is not an aid in the promotion of marital bliss.

2. I’ve spent more than a year in massively multiplayer online role-playing games. When I say a year, I mean a year. Over 365*24 logged hours of playtime. If you figure I started just over eight years ago in the beta of EverQuest, then I’ve spent more than 1/8th of my time since in a fantasy world. This is tame compared to some others I know, and I have to admit, the fraction has been dramatically lowered by the past three years.

3. I’m genuinely surprised to see halffull next to Scott Adam’s blog on Tigerblade’s blogroll. Who am I, anyway? He’s a fatcat genius cartoonist and possibly a hero of mine, and I’m just this guy.

4. I live quite far from my job. I’ve put 30,000 miles on my new car in 10 months. This explains why I’ve listened to over 100 audiobooks in 10 months.

5. I’m very reserved and have few opinions on politics. Neither of which matches the spirit of halffull. (The truth is, I never knew what halffull was going to be, and I’ve tried using it for every purpose under the sun.)

I cheated a bit. Close friends would have known these things. I do hope it was mildly interesting to web passersby, in any case, and Tigerblade, who requested it. (For some odd reason.) Here’s the real cheating bit: I command hulk and blue midget to tell me five things I don’t know about them.

To plan or not to plan? I’ve never really considered it before, which is the same as not planning. Funny how that works. If this sounds familiar, read on.

Common pessimistic wisdom says that if you plan ahead you can only be disappointed. If you live by the seat of your pants, expecting nothing, only good can come your way. Is that really true? For me, it seems to cause more and more stress to be planless. If you’re stressed too, don’t worry - I’m not suggesting that you write up a life plan or know your 5-year goals at all times. If you’re like me, that’s just not possible. You have to know what you want first.

Knowing what you want isn’t as easy as it sounds for some of us. Well, not in the area of life, anyway. (I want a Wii. I won’t get one any time soon because of the ridiculous hordes, but I know I want one.) If you’re the type of person that’s always known what you wanted to do, and you’re actually doing it now, then congratulations. I’m half of the way there. I’m in the same general occupation. I’m in the right ballpark but the wrong position. Possibly the wrong team, if you anthropomorphize corporate America a bit. I’m a shortstop for the Yankees when I want to be an umpire in the minor leagues.

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The Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Game craze is sweeping the globe, and there’s a game out there for almost everyone. Do you want to be a Jedi Knight? You can! Do you want to live in outer space like a pirate, mining resources and fighting enemy groups? You can! Do you want to be an elf, prancing around through the trees like Legolas? Go for it, fairy!

And the games keep on coming. Every gaming company out there seems to be working on their own online game, where millions of people across the globe can come together in a glorious bloodbath, shooting and stabbing or nuking each other for the sake of phat lewts and glory! Or they’re an elf traipsing through the treetops saying things like “Come thou brother, let us dine together on the fruit of the land and not our noble friends of ye olde forest!”

Given my current list of priorities and commitments, I really only have time for one online game. To pay for a second or third online game would be a waste - to me, anyway. (That $15 per month is latte money - and no one, not even a good game, is going to come between me and an egg nog latte.) However, I do like to sign up for the occasional beta if the title interests me. On the other hand, I have a friend who is kind of a gaming slut - he gives it away to all of the games. And as such, signs up for everything.

The Lord of the Rings Online Beta has opened its doors to a new batch of wannabe testers (myself included) for their stress test. When I received my notification, I emailed my game slut friend to ask him if he was also invited to the stress test. The email I received in response sounded offended, yet befuddled, as he relayed to me that he was not invited. Instead, he received the invitation for the following beta:

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According to the Oxford Dictionary, a community is “a group of people living together in one place; a group of people with a common religion, race, or profession; the holding of certain attitudes and interests in common.” Thusly, those who play computer games have also become a community known either as “the gaming community” or simply “gamers”. Within the community, many smaller groups make up the collective. For example, we have those who just like to play solitaire and minesweeper, and consider themselves people who play computer games, but are really not considered gamers by the rest of the community. And rightfully so - there’s a big difference between a gripping 15-minute game of spider solitaire (addicting as it is) to a bajillion-hour game of Everquest. There are the strategy game-players, the roleplaying (RPG) gamers, as well as the first-person shooters - and many, many more. In this last group, there is a bit of elitism and snobbery to be found. Many of the first-person shooters feel themselves above and beyond people who play other games, and they snub their noses at those who play the RPG’s. Let’s not beat around the bush - those who play only first-person shooters (for example, Doom) think of themselves higher than the rest of the gaming community. As an example I give you: Every other time I walk into an EB Games. Continue Reading »

Every year I look forward to the Independence Day holiday. This year especially. For those of us in the U.S. lucky enough, this means a four-day weekend. (I have no idea how you Canucks are making out with the weekend.) And not only that, but Independence Day assumes a party. Face it, it’s an excuse for friends to get together, eat a lot of food, drink a lot of beer, and watch some fireworks. With any luck, no one will be lit on fire. Of course all of this is contingent on the fact that you are not a loser without friends. For the sake of argument, let’s say you are not, in fact, a loser without friends, and will be doing something social this coming holiday.

The next obstacle is food – what to bring? You can’t show up to a BBQ with chips and a six pack of Budweiser or you’ll be lynched on sight. On the other hand, a Julia Childs-type soufflé may not be your style. It’s cool, dudes and chicks. I’ve got something easy and cool for you to do. I know you want to disregard this column because it’s something to do with cooking, but trust me, I know what I’m doing.

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And I kill people all day long because I play video games