Halffull.org

It seems I’ve been <a href=”http://tigerblade.net/journal/?id=332 title=”Tigerblade’s Five Things”>commanded to write five things about myself that you may not have known.

1. I have the shaving habits and bone/joint composition of an old man. This arises from my love of wetshaving and cracking my knuckles, the latter of which is not an aid in the promotion of marital bliss.

2. I’ve spent more than a year in massively multiplayer online role-playing games. When I say a year, I mean a year. Over 365*24 logged hours of playtime. If you figure I started just over eight years ago in the beta of EverQuest, then I’ve spent more than 1/8th of my time since in a fantasy world. This is tame compared to some others I know, and I have to admit, the fraction has been dramatically lowered by the past three years.

3. I’m genuinely surprised to see halffull next to Scott Adam’s blog on Tigerblade’s blogroll. Who am I, anyway? He’s a fatcat genius cartoonist and possibly a hero of mine, and I’m just this guy.

4. I live quite far from my job. I’ve put 30,000 miles on my new car in 10 months. This explains why I’ve listened to over 100 audiobooks in 10 months.

5. I’m very reserved and have few opinions on politics. Neither of which matches the spirit of halffull. (The truth is, I never knew what halffull was going to be, and I’ve tried using it for every purpose under the sun.)

I cheated a bit. Close friends would have known these things. I do hope it was mildly interesting to web passersby, in any case, and Tigerblade, who requested it. (For some odd reason.) Here’s the real cheating bit: I command hulk and blue midget to tell me five things I don’t know about them.

To plan or not to plan? I’ve never really considered it before, which is the same as not planning. Funny how that works. If this sounds familiar, read on.

Common pessimistic wisdom says that if you plan ahead you can only be disappointed. If you live by the seat of your pants, expecting nothing, only good can come your way. Is that really true? For me, it seems to cause more and more stress to be planless. If you’re stressed too, don’t worry – I’m not suggesting that you write up a life plan or know your 5-year goals at all times. If you’re like me, that’s just not possible. You have to know what you want first.

Knowing what you want isn’t as easy as it sounds for some of us. Well, not in the area of life, anyway. (I want a Wii. I won’t get one any time soon because of the ridiculous hordes, but I know I want one.) If you’re the type of person that’s always known what you wanted to do, and you’re actually doing it now, then congratulations. I’m half of the way there. I’m in the same general occupation. I’m in the right ballpark but the wrong position. Possibly the wrong team, if you anthropomorphize corporate America a bit. I’m a shortstop for the Yankees when I want to be an umpire in the minor leagues.

Continue Reading »

The Massively Multiplayer Online Roleplaying Game craze is sweeping the globe, and there’s a game out there for almost everyone. Do you want to be a Jedi Knight? You can! Do you want to live in outer space like a pirate, mining resources and fighting enemy groups? You can! Do you want to be an elf, prancing around through the trees like Legolas? Go for it, fairy!

And the games keep on coming. Every gaming company out there seems to be working on their own online game, where millions of people across the globe can come together in a glorious bloodbath, shooting and stabbing or nuking each other for the sake of phat lewts and glory! Or they’re an elf traipsing through the treetops saying things like “Come thou brother, let us dine together on the fruit of the land and not our noble friends of ye olde forest!”

Given my current list of priorities and commitments, I really only have time for one online game. To pay for a second or third online game would be a waste – to me, anyway. (That $15 per month is latte money – and no one, not even a good game, is going to come between me and an egg nog latte.) However, I do like to sign up for the occasional beta if the title interests me. On the other hand, I have a friend who is kind of a gaming slut – he gives it away to all of the games. And as such, signs up for everything.

The Lord of the Rings Online Beta has opened its doors to a new batch of wannabe testers (myself included) for their stress test. When I received my notification, I emailed my game slut friend to ask him if he was also invited to the stress test. The email I received in response sounded offended, yet befuddled, as he relayed to me that he was not invited. Instead, he received the invitation for the following beta:

Continue Reading »

We’ve all seen them. They come in various shapes, sizes, and consistencies. Whether it is the dreadful underwear hidden beneath the deceptively cheerful Christmas wrapping, or the three-armed sweater knitted for you by your Aunt Marge. Perhaps it was the gift certificate to the ice cream parlor, when you are lactose intolerant. Or maybe the pseudo-matching bookends that even your grandfather wouldn’t use. You know what I’m talking about. Yes… yes, you all know. I’m talking about bad christmas gifts! The kind that make your Christmas spirit shrivel up inside of you like a dried up prune, while on the outside you must paint a happy face so that you don’t hurt any feelings. The kind of things that would eventually wind up in an Alanis Morrisette song.

Well, I got a whammy this year at my office Christmas luncheon. We played dirty santa, and apparently someone took the word “dirty” to it’s fullest. Cheered by the sights of others receiving gift cards to the likes of Best Buy or Starbucks, or receiving really cute Christmas dishes (some with candy and cookies on them!) Heck, even my own cheesy gift (one of the M&M’s candy jars) was stuffed to the brim with packs of M&M’s. And chocolate is, of course, always a worthwile gift. By the time the first item I had opened (a really cute Frosty the Snowman and gift card to Lowe’s) was stolen from me, most everything was either frozen, or not something I really wanted. So, I gathered up my wits and courage and braved the dwindling pile of gifts under the tree.

Continue Reading »

Dear Blue Midget,

Halffull usually has updates every day, but over the past week there have only been a couple of updates to the site. How come you haven’t put much up?

Sincerely,
A Reader

My Dearest Reader,

I write to you under the direst of circumstances. In this place where I have been trapped, the laws of time and space have no meaning. I am trapped in a state of limbo – a purgatory of sorts, if you will. There is little to sustain me in this place and I feel my mind slipping away, succumbing to the strange sound of bad 80’s music whispering so softly in the back of my mind. It is as if I am waiting in an eternal line-up of poor wretched souls, also trapped in the same damned fate:

I have been stuck in a check-out line at the grocery store since Thursday night.

Continue Reading »

Considering how much I write about current television programs, you’d think that I watch a lot of it. I really don’t; it just gives me something to write about. And when I do watch TV, I’m an extreme channel changer so I don’t watch just one show – I am watching anywhere between three to five shows at one time. I like to drift in and out of different shows because even if you miss a couple minutes of something, you can generally figure out what happened. Well, unless it’s the Food Network’s Spooky Cake Competition, because you know my ass is glued to that action.

When it comes to television and ratings, for some reason the 20-something demographic is the highly coveted viewer for many stations. And I am not sure why, because a lot of them (or you or your peers – whomever I’m speaking to) really don’t know what the hell is so funny anymore. For some odd reason, television producers are bringing back things that were cool right around the time the now-20-somethings were born, and many of them are hanging on to the principle that these things used to be cool and funny, yet are no longer what they once were. Their prime has passed. Let them go. Aren’t sure which ones I’m talking about? Here are two for you:

Continue Reading »

Since the passing of the previous Pope and the appointment of Pope Benedict, I have been giving the institution of the Catholic Church a great deal of thought. More so than I usually do, that is. This, of course, I attribute to all of the media that has been surrounding the Catholic Church as of late. When I normally see something strange and topical regarding Catholicism, I usually nod with that bland look on my face and say, “Ah,” as if I were entertaining the notions of a child, or a traveler who went in search of the truth and somehow lost sight of the goal.

As the centuries pass, evolution and transition of management can push an institution farther and farther from the reason they were established in the first place. And the Catholic Church is taking a lot of poor, lost souls with them. This makes me furious, as the Catholic Church has demanded that members of this sect put their trust and faith completely into the institution and Catholic leaders – those in robes and pointy hats – to guide them to… Heaven? Goodness? Brownie points with Jesus? Get out of hell free cards? I wonder if followers even know anymore.

Continue Reading »

A man, his wife, and his mother-in-law went on vacation to the Holy Land. While they were there, the mother-in-law passed away. The undertaker told them, “You can have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here in the Holy Land for $150.00.”

The man thought about it and told him he would just have her shipped home. The undertaker asked, “Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your mother-in-law home, when it would be wonderful to have her buried here and spend only $150.00?”

The man replied, “A man died here 2,000 years ago, was buried here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can’t take that chance.”

Well, it’s been quite a while since I’ve received any emails to my address, which is a big problem for my “Ask Blue Midget” column. Therefore, I will have to resort to sending myself emails.

Dear Myself,

What did you do this weekend?

Your pal,
You

Hi Pal! Thanks for sending me an email. You know, I feel so close to you, like I could tell you anything. In fact, I’m going to upgrade you from “pal” to “best friend evar”! We’ll be a dynamic duo – like Britney Spears and Cheetos!

Continue Reading »

Over the past couple of days I have found it difficult to write you any sort of worthy entry because something has been weighing heavily upon my mind. Unfortunately, in a case like this, I can’t write anything else until I get it off my chest. It’s creative blockage of sorts quite similar to constipation, but without the prune juice or strained voice. Fear not, I will be returning with more sarcasm very soon. Until then, you get Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey.

This weekend during my Saturday class, our professor showed a video of some strange Yoko Ono-type artist. Of course I cannot recall his name so you’re just going to have to trust me on this one. His paintings and drawings were not what I would consider “artful” and his music was more of a bizarre emotional expression and statement than traditional compositions. For example, at one point in the documentary, said artist was creating “music” by rubbing a feather against a cactus while his long time friend was ballet dancing to the sound it made. I’m being serious. The piano compositions were all structured noises by banging on the keys – something I have been required to do in music theory classes, but not as actual pieces of music. His loud banging was a composition based on the Holocaust, so the distressed noises made sense after seeing the title, although I still can’t figure out why anyone would pay money to listen to it. The composition was certainly a thought-provoking statement, but not necessarily beautiful. I appreciated the documentary in that it was completely different than my perception of art, and my understanding of other people’s idea of art was stretched just a bit farther.

Continue Reading »