Good morning. This morning, I have a few things bouncing around in the brain. First and foremost I am absolutely dumbfounded with the lack of professionalism and careless reporting of local “news” media groups, especially the crack “news” crew of Buffalo. Allow me to paint an exciting picture of the average “news” broadcast that simple minded Buffalonians tune in to; the gospel according to Irv. (A little inside there)
“Tonight’s top story: A squirrel has chewed through a homeless man’s shin. This and more at 11.” (The preceding was not true. This never happned, but would probably be on the “news”.)
This is not news. This is unfortunate, but not news. This is the sort of event that should be posted on Halffull.org. The rest of the “news” would be some lame-ass tongue-in-cheek between some fugly looking, wanna-be primadonnas who dress circa 1983. They will pretend to wax intellectual about a freaking pumpkin fest or some damned fool who makes some tasty chili. It gets worse.
Every night you can be sure 3 topics will be broadcast on the “news”:
Somewhere in Buffalo, every night, there is a fire. If an outsider were to watch a weeks worth of Buffalo “news” programs, they would believe the freaking city is burning to the ground. Lame.
Some stupid shit about a Bass Pro Shop coming to Buffalo will inevitably be mentioned as the savior to all of Buffalo’s financial problems. BWWAAHHAHWWHAHA!!!! They sell freaking fishing poles and rubber worms!! What city have you ever heard of that was saved because of some place that will help you catch a sweet bass? I don’t care if they help me catch the Loch Ness monster, it isn’t going to do crap. Nobody cares.
Lastly, there will a shot of some talking head in front of our local political building. He will be so excited that he is coming to you live from the Rath building. Why? It’s 11 o’clock at night. It is dark. Nobody is inside that building. Why the hell does it matter if you are live in front of the building where nothing is going on to tell me later in the day a bunch of overpaid bureaucrats sat around and screamed about nothing… ultimately accomplishing nothing. The whole thing is stupid, lame, out-dated, stupid, lame, and unecessary.
This rant was fueled by a tiny spark at work this morning. As I come in to Buffalo General Hospital, there are camera crews from NBC, CNN, and FOX News. Ok. There are shooting a story on a boy who saved a nurse’s life. It turns out she was the same nurse that saved his life 7 years ago. That is cool. Heart-warming and touching. I didn’t have a problem with it… until… local “news” dweebs show up. Mind you they have given new meaning to “beating a dead horse”. This story has been on every “news” channel for three days straight. Every day, every hour, every time I turn on the television, these idiots are telling about this kid that rocked out and saved this lady’s life. I get it. They weren’t here for the story though. The big time story for the day… CNN is here!!! The local yokels were shooting pictures of the CNN guys shooting pictures. What the crap is that?!?! Who gives a crap what these wieners are doing?!?! This is not news, this is “news”!!!
I hate people. Deep down inside I am a closet misanthropist.
In summation, all news sucks. But some news sucks a considerable amount more than others. (Buffalo “news” takes a bow). Ladies and gentleman, don’t believe everything on TV. Just because it is on Crossfire or FOX News doesn’t mean it’s true. They are all owned by giant media conglomerates attempting to subtley sway you one way or another. If your local “news” is telling you the only news in your area is a fire and a kid who picks his nose, you are being horribly mislead. Walk around and see for yourself. There are far more pressing issues than what your “news” crew is showing. Fuck those schmucks. I went there.
WB
C’mon now, the Bass Pro Shoppe is going to take over the old Aud. I think they play that story more to incite a city wide riot of hairy sabres fans than anything else.
February 20th, 2006, at 11:00 pm #