Most of what I say that’s offensive is for shock value. Well… most of the stuff that’s just offensive for offensiveness’s sake. I stand by my rant “The Victim Game.” But the stuff about ethnicities and um… hell, let’s just say I enjoy shock humor and leave it at that. I make generalities about groups that aren’t mine and then disparage those groups based on those generalities. I don’t honestly have anything against them. Lying is fun! Ok, I try not to have anything against them. I do not explicitly judge people based on their ethnicity. That being said, I am nowhere near naive enough to walk down Main Street at 1 AM.
I have this racial intolerance, though, that I can’t even begin to understand. I notice it when I’m out in public. My blood pressure rises whenever I see a certain type of couple. I mean, I understand some racial/ethnic intolerances. By “understand”, I mean I understand why it happens, not that I condone it or agree with its basis. I understand why rednecks think the Jews are behind everything. Or why the Muslims think the Jews are behind everything. Or why the Europeans… damn. Does anyone like the Jews? I mean, come on people, don’t we have respect for a group of people who can hold their own, politically and militarily, against a world that absolutely hates them? Maybe the Canuckistanis (Canadians) like the Jews. I can only hope, ’cause I kinda feel bad for them. They’re so cute, with their big noses, and piles of mon… ahem. Seriously, I have enormous respect for Israel and the fact that it can kick some serious dictatorial ass and still have the guts to say, hey, maybe the Palestinians can have some land too. It takes strength to cede land to a group that bombs your buses and wants every last one of you dead.
Back to my point. I don’t understand why I get pissed off every time I see an Asian woman and a white guy. It’s usually the same type of white guy, too, a nerdy, artsy looking guy with glasses, and sometimes that stupid semi-long hair look with the waves, trying to look like Heath Jackass. Sorry. I don’t know why this irks me so. I guess it has to do with the fact that I don’t get why Asian woman are attractive. Ok, let me back up. I don’t get why Asian woman are specifically attractive just because they’re Asian. There are lots of attractive Asian women out there. Damnit. How does one get their foot out of their mouths on racial issues? I guess you just don’t. I guess I’ll just ask everyone not to playa-hate. Can I say that yet? See, Kanye West put a moratorium on white people saying black phrases. I’m not kidding. He suggested a one year waiting period.
I’ve never even had a bad experience with an Asian woman, at least not… nevermind. There’s no reason to single out a certain racial group. I’m just saying that certain groups tend to be hated more than others. I mean, Koreans hate the Japanese, for example. I can understand why. I mean, if a group invades your country and tells you to stop speaking your jibber-jabber language… Native who? What? There’s still some left? Well, no wonder they’re pissed. Sure, let ‘em collect gambling money. Give ‘em some tax free cigarette stands. Ahem. I really need to direct my thoughts.
I had an Asian woman as a boss once. She was awesome. She was attractive too, but that’s because I have this thing for older chicks. She was probably in her mid-thirties, though it’s hard to tell because Asian women don’t age. Ever. But yeah, I’ve always had a thing for older women. Like when I was five and I would gaze at that cute fifth-grader on the bus. Or when I was nine and I had the hots for Ms. Dana, my fourth-grade teacher. Or when I was in sixth grade and liked Ms… I don’t remember her name, but she had that hot librarian look going on with the glasses. Then Ms. Brennan in high school. I did poorly in the class because I would spend the day imagining her demanding that I stay after class to do some “biology” experiments. Wow, I really should just shut up before my trial. Please, Mr. FBI man, notice that in the part about the fifth grader that I was five. I was five, I was five, I was five, I was five. I think that makes it ok.
By the way, WTF is with the FBI task force on decency? Have you heard about this? And the Attorney General’s office asking Google for the search records for porn? This can’t be right. I guess it was inevitable. In a society that believes that safety lies with regulation, it was only a matter of time before the government started trying to ruin the internet. I’m sorry, I’m discussing two different things. The Google search records issue is separate from the task force for decency. It’s a couple FBI agents being gathered to go after websites with “indecent” material, “indecent” being defined, quite literally, by “community standards”. I’m not kidding, that’s current law regarding how to determine “decency”. Don’t get the wrong impression either, I read somewhere that FBI agents were pissed that resources were being taken away from important things to form this stupid decency task force. I’m not going to be an idiot and blow this up, I seriously doubt this will turn into much of anything, but it’s still annoying that the government thinks it can determine decency.
How about all those websites that talk about how to be a good Christian woman and love it when your husband rapes you? I’m not kidding, this shit exists, and it’s quite prevalent. Is that decent? I mean, which is worse, born-again Christians and the whole state of Iowa or a woman sucking off a horse? A horse I can avoid. I can choose whether or not to do anything with it. But those born-agains scare me. Notice how I’ll probably not get criticized for being scared of born-agains. Replace that word with… no, I am not dumb enough to actually write the word. But you can imagine it. But replace that word and see what would happen to me. Actually, I’d probably get elected to Congress, like Senator Byrd of West Virginia. Former KKK member. I’m not kidding. And yet that asshole gets off scot-free with racial stuff. Go figure.
What was I talking about? Asian women. Right. Ok, so the thing with them not aging is where I don’t like the whole idolization of the Asian chick. See, I can’t disengage it with a disturbing desire for young women. It’s one thing for an old geezer at the mall to say “Holy Crap!” when he sees a gaggle of high school girls wearing next to nothing. They’re usually wearing next to nothing, and I’m sorry, but it’s simply biological to be aroused by developed girls, even if they’re not quite 18, wearing next to nothing. The proper response is to look away. I’m quite serious. It’s one thing to be aroused by the things that, animalistically, you’re going to be aroused by. It’s another to seek out that arousal by going to the high school soccer game. I can’t bitch enough about “The Limited Too”. When I was younger I could let my eyes roam at the mall and not feel bad. Now I’m a little older, and if I see a ridiculously short skirt, 9 times out of 10 my eyes will jump that way and then I’ll want to gouge my eyes out because that is not 18! Seriously! What parents think it’s a good idea to let their kids dress like this? These freaking kids are wearing nothing! It’s just wrong!
Hence the Asian chick. I really think nerds and gamers love Asian girls because they’re so young-looking. And that’s what bugs me. It’s wrong.
And so is spaghetti breakfast.
I know I’m gonna wish I never posted this.
[...] Because what was written was just that good. And just that bad. [...]
January 21st, 2006, at 5:05 pm #Hmmm. I read this and as a Haafu” who is more asian, i have to say this; I have nothing against people who are of Jewish descent, and It sounds like you think people like me don’t deserve to be loved. However, I am sick of being the “free” counselor for men with questions about Asian women. My feelings as a U.S. born citizen are crushed. And, those geeky guys might have the patience required to ‘understand” someone who has a different cultural upbringing.
January 31st, 2006, at 4:18 pm #I owe you an apology, Oke_ne. Apparently you have taken me seriously, which is something I never intended. I advise you to be very careful about taking me seriously. It’s generally a bad idea.
More to the point, despite the title of my post, my problem is with the geeky guys. As I said above, “I don’t get why Asian woman are specifically attractive just because they’re Asian.”
January 31st, 2006, at 10:42 pm #And i have read this as a half asian who barely looks asian I want to say..Races are mixing everywhere these days in 200 years we wont have to read racist rants anymore. I agree taking you serious is a bad idea cause ur just talking a bunch of bullshit. It gets me upset the way you talk about jewish people and their..”big noses’ and mon..what golian features??. I grew up in the country that killed thousands of jews..the new generation is so god damn ashamed about what happened in the past. Patriotic? Not here! And then you bring up shit like that??Your problem with asian women is so weird i dont even know how to comment that.About the certain types of couples.Im doing my best to do what you hate- my kids will be so mixed they wont know what the hell they are. And have you ever thought about that people have been mixing and moving all over the globe since the existance of HUMAN RACE.There goes your race philosophy–and now fuck off.
February 12th, 2006, at 7:07 pm #Emichiee, I too hope your children are mixed. I also hope they can read.
February 12th, 2006, at 9:47 pm #Though to be fair, I’ll retract that and just chalk it up to poor translation across the internet.
February 12th, 2006, at 9:49 pm #I have been speaking english for two years. And know 4 different languages..So what about you.No matter if you choose a well educated language–its still cr*** out of your mouth.
February 13th, 2006, at 8:16 am #That’s awesome that you can speak four languages. I’m going to be civil and bring this back to my main topic. Why did you misinterpret this rant as being anti-racial mixing?
February 13th, 2006, at 5:25 pm #Maybe you got im part asian and I will be ‘mixing’ the asian blood with my husbands.
February 14th, 2006, at 9:59 pm #i heard that this was supposed to be amazingly offensive. but. um, I wasn’t quite as offended by that as I hoped to be, just really lame. Hm, you’re a stupid whitie, aren’t you– you write like one.
April 19th, 2006, at 4:05 pm #Well I think part of the problem is that you put “Why are asian girls attractive” and then you reasoned why they’re not. I know people have their preferences, everyone’s not attracted to the same thing (except maybe whatever is on the cover of Vanity fair magazine but thats another post) and there are beauties from every race so it’s really about preferences not race, but asian girls LOOK ASIAN, how can you classify them as something non-asian. They are who they are, and now you make it sound negative.
And yeah there is a stereotype about asian girls, I hate that too, I would rather not be called asian and be called something more specific because to me, “asian” is just a big lump sum of stereotypes of the eastern world. Almost ignorance, the word asian does not do justice to the thousands of cultural differences that mark the identities of different asians, even within their own countries.
I’m definitely not angry about your post, just commenting
Oh and my guy isn’t (yeah he’s white don’t be mad) a geek, the previous was into his moto stuff, but anyways, there’s more to an asian chick than just asian believe me. I guess this is where I’m coming from, the fact that “asians chicks” are just plain asian? just thats it? the look, the demeanor, that whole package, which happens to be just external, is I hope, less of a definition of what an asian chick is to most people. “Asian chick” IS stereotypical.
I still think it’s objectifying women to an extent because do you hate anything about asian culture? Or not really hate how about dislike, or even slightly not care for.
Either way still sounds racist and maybe even a little sexist, glad you clarified it at the beginning, because it just sounds like there is something less valuable about them that doesn’t measure up to the white guy she’s with.
Would you rather trade the said asian chick with a —-insert other race here—- chick, for less of an eyesore?
February 23rd, 2009, at 7:54 pm #I read this, and I found it very hard to follow. If you are going to rant whatever is on your mind, the least you could do, is get to the bloody point! I have no idea what you are going on about and it sounds like your envious of Asian girls. The main reason why a lot of men find Asian girls attractive, is because a lot of them are not bitches, they talk to you, they are pleasant.
How you act towards people has a lot to do with your sex appeal.
May 8th, 2009, at 2:46 pm #I don’t think that’s entirely true, but I definitely think that in porn and things, the attraction for Asian girls is an attraction to girls who look young – big eyes, smooth skin, round faces, round lips, etc.
I don’t think that the geeky guys you see liking Asian girls are attracted to them because they look young, though. I think it’s an attraction to the cultural behavior of Asians. Let’s generalize a bit: geeks are shit at confrontation, Asian girls are non-confrontational. Match made in heaven! Plus, they’re cute.
We have had a joke about my brother (my family’s mixed race – black and loooots of white; my brother has this odd little fro going on) liking Chinese girls. He always has, long as I can remember. I think it’s a mix of liking the cuter features and of liking the culture and the cultural attitudes. He’s dated plenty of white girls. (This isn’t a mixed area, and he’s 16, so it’s not like he’s met a lot of others.) I don’t think it’s a fetishization of Asians or of youthful looks if you just have a bit of preference in that direction.
July 12th, 2010, at 5:38 pm #