We’ve all seen them. They come in various shapes, sizes, and consistencies. Whether it is the dreadful underwear hidden beneath the deceptively cheerful Christmas wrapping, or the three-armed sweater knitted for you by your Aunt Marge. Perhaps it was the gift certificate to the ice cream parlor, when you are lactose intolerant. Or maybe the pseudo-matching bookends that even your grandfather wouldn’t use. You know what I’m talking about. Yes… yes, you all know. I’m talking about bad christmas gifts! The kind that make your Christmas spirit shrivel up inside of you like a dried up prune, while on the outside you must paint a happy face so that you don’t hurt any feelings. The kind of things that would eventually wind up in an Alanis Morrisette song.
Well, I got a whammy this year at my office Christmas luncheon. We played dirty santa, and apparently someone took the word “dirty” to it’s fullest. Cheered by the sights of others receiving gift cards to the likes of Best Buy or Starbucks, or receiving really cute Christmas dishes (some with candy and cookies on them!) Heck, even my own cheesy gift (one of the M&M’s candy jars) was stuffed to the brim with packs of M&M’s. And chocolate is, of course, always a worthwile gift. By the time the first item I had opened (a really cute Frosty the Snowman and gift card to Lowe’s) was stolen from me, most everything was either frozen, or not something I really wanted. So, I gathered up my wits and courage and braved the dwindling pile of gifts under the tree.
Alas, wits and courage apparently failed to invite “luck” along with them. And I wound up with, what my husband terms, “The Worst Christmas Gift Ever”.
I don’t like Bingo, and I don’t know anyone who does. My one-year-old would not be able to play with it for several years because of the small balls that he could choke on. Even better, the person who had bought it left the $9.97 Walmart price sticker on the side. I had pondered what to do with this toy, and realized that instead of putting such a cleverly horrid gift such as this to waste by throwing it away, we will keep it in the closet all year, and at next year’s party, it will be wrapped again, and will be waiting for its next victim under the office luncheon tree.
Merry Christmas everyone!
no updates for two weeks?? what’s going on here??
January 20th, 2006, at 12:33 am #I don’t like hulk’s responses to my posts. He takes everything out of context and blows things up to be things I never intended, which is purely for the sake of humor. The last straw was my post on the riots in France, where he turned it into… I don’t even know what in the hell he was talking about to be honest. And I can’t make him stop, so I have been posting elsewhere. That’s why you haven’t seen anything from me in a couple of months. When he posts on this site, he turns into something that I don’t like so fuck it – I’ll go somewhere else, which is what I’ve done.
Sorry. I still read your site, if that makes you feel any better?
When people come to this site they expect ranting and arguing and I’m just not that way. I’ve been criticized a lot for it and I figure that in the end, what I write isn’t appropriate for the site. In fact, I don’t even come to this site anymore. Redshift told me you commented, and it’s the only reason I checked back.
January 20th, 2006, at 9:46 am #I honestly don’t post that much, myself. With full time job and a toddler, I just don’t have the time to keep up with current events well enough to post anything more thoughtful than “I changed a very poopy diaper today!” And I’m sure that the readers of this site have no interest in the daily doings of a one year old and a very frazzled mom.
January 20th, 2006, at 7:29 pm #