Comments on: The Bachelor Crisis http://halffull.org/2005/08/02/the-bachelor-crisis/ distributed humor Tue, 31 Jan 2012 06:08:10 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: yammy http://halffull.org/2005/08/02/the-bachelor-crisis/comment-page-1/#comment-885 yammy Sat, 04 Feb 2006 07:26:38 +0000 http://halffull.org/2005/08/02/the-bachelor-crisis/#comment-885 <p>most straight men smell like ass crack---they shit incessantly-and don't give a a shit about who is around them---</p> most straight men smell like ass crack—they shit incessantly-and don’t give a a shit about who is around them—

]]> By: Hulk http://halffull.org/2005/08/02/the-bachelor-crisis/comment-page-1/#comment-580 Hulk Tue, 02 Aug 2005 21:14:06 +0000 http://halffull.org/2005/08/02/the-bachelor-crisis/#comment-580 <p>I should also note that video games (and laziness) are the primary reasons I don't do most of the things I should do-resulting in the shame I have when Blue Midget feels the need to clean my apartment.</p> I should also note that video games (and laziness) are the primary reasons I don’t do most of the things I should do-resulting in the shame I have when Blue Midget feels the need to clean my apartment.

]]> By: Hulk http://halffull.org/2005/08/02/the-bachelor-crisis/comment-page-1/#comment-579 Hulk Tue, 02 Aug 2005 21:08:23 +0000 http://halffull.org/2005/08/02/the-bachelor-crisis/#comment-579 <p>I wish it wasn't so much about my living habits. Also, both you and Mr. Clean forgot something - porn and video games. Essential to the bachelor lifestyle.</p> I wish it wasn’t so much about my living habits. Also, both you and Mr. Clean forgot something – porn and video games. Essential to the bachelor lifestyle.

]]> By: Mr Clean http://halffull.org/2005/08/02/the-bachelor-crisis/comment-page-1/#comment-578 Mr Clean Tue, 02 Aug 2005 18:50:55 +0000 http://halffull.org/2005/08/02/the-bachelor-crisis/#comment-578 <p>Nice advice, but it's painfully obvious that a chick wrote it.</p> <p>Laundry: Smell it, if your head doesn't snap back then it's wearable. Also, wash the bedsheets at least once every 6 months. Apply the head snap test here as well.</p> <p>Housecleaning: This is why God created immigrants. You can hire a maid to come in and clean your entire house for roughly $50 every 2 weeks. You don't have to buy cleaning supplies or a vacuum cleaner. If you are extremely lucky (I'm not) you'll get a hot maid from Eastern Europe who doesn't speak very much English.</p> <p>Computer keyboard: Throw it in the top rack of the dishwasher and pray the water doesn't get hot enough to melt the keys. Dry it out for at least 24 hours. A wet keyboard is a sparky keyboard.</p> <p>Food: Buy a 1 lb steak, salt & pepper it on both sides. Throw it on a HOT grill for ~4 minutes on each side. Do not continually move the steak around, just flip it once. 5 minutes for medium rare, 6+ minutes for shoe leather. Once it's done, take it off the grill and put in on a plate. Loosely cover the plate with foil and let the steak rest for 5 minutes. Side dishes optional.</p> <p>PS No heterosexual man cleans the shower every morning. Period.</p> Nice advice, but it’s painfully obvious that a chick wrote it.

Laundry: Smell it, if your head doesn’t snap back then it’s wearable. Also, wash the bedsheets at least once every 6 months. Apply the head snap test here as well.

Housecleaning: This is why God created immigrants. You can hire a maid to come in and clean your entire house for roughly $50 every 2 weeks. You don’t have to buy cleaning supplies or a vacuum cleaner. If you are extremely lucky (I’m not) you’ll get a hot maid from Eastern Europe who doesn’t speak very much English.

Computer keyboard: Throw it in the top rack of the dishwasher and pray the water doesn’t get hot enough to melt the keys. Dry it out for at least 24 hours. A wet keyboard is a sparky keyboard.

Food: Buy a 1 lb steak, salt & pepper it on both sides. Throw it on a HOT grill for ~4 minutes on each side. Do not continually move the steak around, just flip it once. 5 minutes for medium rare, 6+ minutes for shoe leather. Once it’s done, take it off the grill and put in on a plate. Loosely cover the plate with foil and let the steak rest for 5 minutes. Side dishes optional.

PS No heterosexual man cleans the shower every morning. Period.

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